An Open Letter to, Constance Hall.

Before I begin, I want to make one thing clear from the start.Ms Hall, I do not 'hate' you. For one, I do not know you personally and I believe that hate is both a strong emotion and word to be thrown around so flippantly, as it is these days. Though I do wonder if pointing that out even matters? As your followers and you yourself will no doubt (if you and they see this) disregard the aforementioned.

Now that we have cleared that up, that you hopefully understand this is not written with hate or any form of malice, now we can move forward to the rest of what I have to say to you. I do not respect or care for the disrespectful, dishonest, degrading and all around lazy/no fucks given "real" parenting that you are attempting to normalise and preach to the world.You see, when you first went viral with that ridiculous "parent sex" post I gave you the benefit of the doubt and passed no judgement, even thought I thought the post itself was asinine.

As the days went on that post popped up in my news feed more times than I cared to count.Weeks passed and every day it seemed hat another friend of family member was sharing links to the content that came from you and your blog, and each time I would roll my eyes and scroll on by.

At this point I still gave you the benefit of the doubt and did not judge you. To be honest I do not know how much time had passed between when you first went viral to when I finally decided to learn a bit about you and the things you were preaching as "real parent life" gospel... you see, I wasn't actually keeping a log between those moments, because I did not care to do so. You were just another internet famous pleb as far as I was concerned between those two points in time.

However, I can tell you that it began when you started to flood the parent groups and parenting forums on line, I don't think I could have rolled my eyes enough during those periods, from fear they may have actually fallen out.

Until this point I still gave you the benefit of the doubt.

Now this is where it all got interesting. You see, it was in these conversations and debates where I sat silently, as I finally took interest in what others online were discussing and sharing their points on what was being promoted to be a "hilariously real" perspective on life as a parent... or life in general. This is where I sat and watched, where I read and researched the things that were being said by both the people who liked and disliked you.

This is where I was shown links and facts versus people just shoving their heads so far up your arse that they couldn't form a coherent or even tangible response as to the negative things being said about you.

Apparently just blindly following a leader and then calling people who disagree with their leader is some sort of "hip" thing to do.

This is where I started to see your true colours bleed out.
This is where I no longer gave you the benefit of the doubt.
This is where I began to form my opinion of you and how you conduct yourself.
This is where I began to judge you.

It isn't just the fact that you are so terribly narcissistic to the point you cannot take any form of criticism - that comes with any kind of fame, buttercup, and you have to take both the positive and negative in your stride and learn from both, not cull the negative to make yourself look like some almighty beloved god.

It isn't just the way that you marginalise other women and their struggles.

It isn't just the way that you make an absolute mockery of your husband and children for all the world to see.It isn't just the way you see it fit to only promote freedom of speech as long as it promotes you, yet seek to quash it if it is even slightly negative in your light.

It ins't just the deplorable state in which you run your house (letting the dog eat the kids poo off of the floor, really?).

It isn't just the worrisome unkempt and uncleanly states in which you happily boast that you leave your children.

It isn't just your immature and almost prepubescent outlook on relationships.

It isn't just your deceitfulness and lying.

It isn't just your loose morals.

It isn't just how you have to make everything about your, how you play victim or embellish things in order to have some new content to keep yourself relevant. No, it is all of these things and more, but to keep things from getting too lengthy lets just focus the aforementioned, shall we?

So we don't get confused, I'm going to run down the list in numerical order. It is so much fun to start at the top of the list!

1. You and your loyal "queens", but especially you seem to live in this quaint little bubble where everything is all sunshine and rainbows, where no one questions or criticizes you, because if anyone, anywhere utters even one slightly negative word about your or the things you do that is supposedly, as you put it, bullying. And bullying isn't allowed on your social media platforms, because god forbid that anyone, anywhere dare to breath a negative word about you. And as a subsequent result, those who do speak ill of you are so lovingly, as you so put it, "bitches get banned."

Which to be honest I found that rather hypocritical, but that's another story for another time..... oh, no it isn't. You and your "queens" can act like rather miserable bitches yourselves, so doesn't that mean that you and your "queens" should too be banned from all of your social media platforms? You see, being a celebrity, even for someone as mediocre as yourself, you have to learn to take both the negative and positive responses in your stride.... oh wait, I said that further up, jog on back and re-read it again, because its not hard to realise that a part of being a person in the spotlight, means you cannot just wash away the negative and attempt to perpetuate nothing but love and positivity for yourself.

That's false advertising, m'dear. You will never learn to grow to your full potential if you are too busy attempting to block and delete people who merely disagree with you or who point out obvious flaws in your logic.

Maybe instead of saying we all have "tall poppy syndrome" take a good hard look at yourself and perhaps step away from the spotlight if you cannot handle everything that comes with being famous. 2. I can tell you that this, this one right here, is the exact subject that completely sealed my discontent on you.

When you tried to marginalise the emotions, pain and of women who have trouble or whom cannot conceive when trying for a baby.

This was the moment that I, as someone who has no fertility issues herself, thought, "how dare she be so heartless," which come to think of it is an understatement. In that post alone you proved to me how arrogant and ignorant you were. How the struggles of someone else was just content for you to promote a foolish idea of what you think those who wanted children but are without should be like and do.

You are not in their shoes, you do not know how they feel inside and you have no right to quash their feelings by glossing over it with such tripe of, "Some women are too powerful to be tied to their own children, too warm to be limited to one family. Some women need to be free to help, love, spread warmth all across the universe."

There is no doubt in my mind that women who longed for children but whom are unable to have them are indeed powerful. They have to live without the dream they desired the most, but you dear, are not the candidate to dictate or tell them that their purpose in life is to spread love to everyone else because they have not of their own to love.

I know a few people with fertility issues who took great offense to this particular post of yours.

And guess what?

Their negative feelings towards you on that are valid because you were in no position to be so arrogantly insensitive on the subject.

This is a case where you don't cross the line and attempt to tell someone how you think it should work. Just zip it.

3. Number 3 actually ties in with a lot of the others that follow it, but I will try to touch on each one briefly regardless.

The way in which you put your poor husband and children on display for the whole world is honestly sad. It makes me question if you truly love them or if they are now nothing more than pawns for your next regurgitated tirade of bullshit.While I don't agree with the utterly deceitful way in which, Bill, and yourself started your relationship I do like to pretend that there must be some reason you two did stick together so long (even after all the real dumb things you do to each other), but is there really love for him? For your childre?

Or do you just view them as walking dollar signs? I know you have said recently that you don't air all of your dirty laundry on the internet (though it would appear differently to the average outsider), you even acknowledged that you and your husband were having marital issues.... again I wonder, if maybe these issues wouldn't have even arisen if you had the common sense and decorum not to post degrading and teenage type rants about, Bill, online for the world to see. Imagine how you would feel if your significant other were writing all these "humorous" tidbits about the inner workings of your relationship in such a way that you look like a stupid moron who stuck by what comes off as a heartless mong.

You wouldn't like it, so why would your family? I dread the day your kids are older and other children have seen the deplorable things you say and do online, the way in which you so "lovingly" jab and tell very private information. How will you react and respond when poor, Billie-Violate, comes home and sobs to you, angry and upset, that she is being made fun of because of the things you have done and said about your family and yourself online?

Will you still feel like top dog then or will you finally break and realise how much damage you have caused your loved ones? 4. This one kind of ties in with number one. How you and the moderators of your social media are so delete and ban happy with anything that challenges, opposes, disagrees or is in any way negative towards you or your comment. You cannot preach for freedom of speech when you silence the ones who disagree with you. That isn't freedom, that is dictating. If you are going to say you are for freedom of speech/expression, then stick by that and allow both the positive and negative to be heard and have their say. If you are so confident in all you do and say online, then own it, and don't let the negative responses get to you if you are so confident that the positive reactions will naturally outweigh the negatives.

Give the people freedom of speech, don't be a dictator. 5/6. I'm mashing these two together because they go hand in hand so well!

Usually I don't comment on the cleaning habits of another person, because quite honestly I don't know their cleaning habits, but when you are telling the entire world you allow your dog to eat your kids poo off of the floor, that's when I feel a need to voice the seemingly deplorable standards of living inside someone's house.

First things first, why are you leaving it up to the dog to eat your kids poo off the floor and why are you leaving the poo there for such a period of time that this scenario had occurred?It baffles me as to how someone can "no know when my kid pooped", even during nappy free time. That makes me question a lot, but I'm going to bite my tongue as hard as I can, because I can see how it lovingly fits in with leaving your kids in dirty nappies that hang down so low it almost drags on the ground, how you happily take kids with gastro to the play cafe or a child with head lice to the hair dresser.

Also the fly in that one selfie bathroom photo on IG.... not cool, have some respect for the deceased and don't splash pictures of their lifeless body allover the internet.

I don't think its fly partner or fly kids would have been happy about that. 7. Okay, okay, okay. I have a joke for ya'll.

What kind of person thinks that the way to making a relationship last forever with your partner is by purposefully falling pregnant?

Can't guess?

PREPUBESCENT TEENAGERS! I fail to understand why you, as a woman in her 30's (40'S? I don't know), would so proudly and stupidly tell the world that this is a surefire way to "trapping" your man. Like, what the fuck?

Even if you were trying to be funny with that one, you do realise that so many naive people follow you and look up to you, right?

Giving out such moronic relationship advice can potentially devastating to any stupid woman who followed this advice, had the baby and her partner left anyway? Also, trapping, your man?

He isn't a fucking fox sneaking in at night and killing your chickens, why would anyone need to "trap" another person. That reads as a form of abuse and manipulation, which, you know, is bad. And if it were a man so proudly shouting how he traps women he would be torn to shreds, yet because you, a woman, are saying it, its supposedly "cool" and "edgy". 8. This is another one that made me think, "what are you fucking 12?"

Stealing money from your husband, hiding money from your husband, shaming, guilt tripping and leading your husband to believe he accidentally spent more money when out at the pub than he really did. That's fucking disgusting and not to mention its also a form of manipulation and abuse.

I don't condone people having partners who abuse them in anyway, even financially abuse them. I also won't condemn people who tuck savings away for a rainy day if they have a spouse who isn't financially savvy or is spend happy, but to purposefully deceive and then berate your spouse in order to hide some dosh for yourself... girl, that's all kinds of fucked up.

That's what kids do when they steal a few bits of loose change from mum and dad, it is not what to grown adults do to each other.

Like cheating on and lying to each other is bad enough, but to be so deceitful in so many ways, where does your moral code lie, Ms. Hall?

10. I skipped over number 9 because I felt that your lack of morals were outlaid in some of the points above.

I get it, you must be running out of new content for your blog, I mean most of the stories of late are clearly;

A) re-hashed garbage.

B) not your stories.

C) written my someone entirely different other than yourself.

I cannot imagine how hard it would be to stay current, fresh, and in the spotlight online. I mean, that must be why for example, you took it upon yourself to write a rambling statement about how "parents on mobiles at pick up time" is offensive to you, without even taking a moment to think, "hang on a second, this isn't directed towards me specifically, but perhaps it is directed at ole Margie over there who isn't even acknowledging her son, Hoover-McGee. Hmmm."

No, in your world the focus is on you and what possible content a specific subject can be made to fit you to post to your blog. Bravo, you win at being an attention seeker. -

So now my list has ended, and as stated earlier there are so many other hypocritical or immoral things you have done that could be pointed out.

Ie.

Telling people, "I am not the media. I am not paid for clicks."

Yeah, except you are paid for clicks. If memory serves correctly, last year I learned that whenever someone logs on or clicks onto your blog you are indeed paid a small profit for that click.

Your book, that was a good one. When hundreds of women have still not received or received their pre-ordered hard cover copies long after the soft cover prints went on sale in store. Did you refund those women? Or was that money a part of the $10k you had hidden from Bill that you donated to your friend to go bum around over seas?I mean, the book and its sales could be an entire open letter on its own. Your constant need to be consuming alcoholic beverages?I enjoy the occasional drink too, but I don't constantly need it to be a permanent feature in my daily routine. Being and promoting functioning alcoholism as being "normal" is a very immoral and dangerous thing to do.Being an alcoholic of any kind is not cool. And finally, while we still have some time.

This war you have on supposedly "perfect parenting" and attempting to create this "real" version of parenting has to stop. It's ridiculous. Your inflated myth of labeling those who knock you as "perfect parents". If you think that for even one second that there is such a thing as a perfect parent or perfect parent, you are wrong. No one is perfect, no one world wide of any age.

No parent is perfect, no parenting style is perfect. It is a label that people who are caught out or have something pointed out as incorrect use to deflect from themselves and the sudden feelings of stupidity, anger or guilt.

Why do we feel the need to attempt to label those trying to help?

Why not opt for the path less taken, thank them and then should you choose to take their advice on board do so, if not great.

Everyone parents differently, but no one has figured out the secret to parenting. Really who would want to?

Part of the joy of being a parent is the crazy that comes along with the ride.

But let me also tell you, the label of "shit mum" that you spewed in a blog post is also not on. Again, it labeling and giving a false picture. There is no such thing as a shit parent, at least no by the definitions you gave. We all have days where we struggle, but that doesn't make us a contemptible or worthless person.

So let's put that label of "shit mum" to rest too, huh?

I could go on for days, but I'm not about to bother self publishing a book addressing you and everything questionable that you do. Soz, I have a life.

And here I shall end this.I would love to hope maybe this, or someday a post like this would make you take the time to have a long, hard look in the mirror and reevaluate yourself and how you conduct yourself, but I think this all either falls on deaf ears or would just be fuel for your next fictitious hotel-room meltdown.

To reiterate, I do not hate you, Ms. Hall, however I do judge you and I do not condone anything you do or anything you stand for. Now, I really have to skidaddle, my tongue is burning from consuming too many jalapeño Pringles and not having any form of a milk substance to wash it down after. My god it burns, the water only makes it worse!

Yours sincerely, Anon-A-Mum xox

PS: Please, don't ever write a book for teenagers. They have enough struggles and issues in life without having grade A shit advice been thrown towards them from someone as inexperienced, out of touch, questionable and moronic as you.